FF WORTHY VOL 1

FF WORTHY VOL 1

Welcome everything to the first edition of FF WORTHY, where I will briefly discuss films I don’t finished and often just fast forward (Hence the FF) through to the end, just to see what the hell happens in these films. These are the ‘Unfinished Films’ that I have talked about in the past.

Often, I only watch enough to tell I can’t or won’t watch anymore, then FF to the end. There really is no reason for a full piece on one film, so from now on, when the mood strikes me, I will do FF WORTHY, with each piece covering three unwatchable films, why they are unwatched and whatnot.

For FF WORTHY VOL 1 these three films are be:

DEAD STILL

THE LAST STARSHIP

MARDOCK SCRAMBLE

Of these three films Dead Still would be the best, Mardock Scramble the most disappointing and The Last Starship the most insulting.

How can I say a film I didn’t finish is the best of a group I didn’t finished? Because I watch most of it before FF.

DEAD STILL

In Dead Still a struggling photographer comes into possession of his famous grandfather’s camera that he used to take Victorian Era Death Photos with. When the grandson starts using the camera himself, everyone he photographs dies horrible deaths. Turns out his grandfather was an evil bastard.

Dead Still is a well-made film, with some decent acting that struggles with two things, a poor script and small/bad set syndrome. While some set looks good, many more make you cringe.

The script needed another pass, as it moves to fast, feels choppy, and lacks the real characterization it needs. Certain characters seem misplaced, with no real motivation and make jumps of logic with no info to base their conclusions on.

Ultimately the film feels choppy, comes off at times like vignettes and somehow feels boring. Around the forty minutes mark the FF button was pushed.

The creature effects toward the end are nice.

THE LAST STARSHIP 

The most insulting. That is what I wrote above. I mean it too. This is one of those films that barely rate as a film. It’s insulting to call it a film. It’s insulting to ask people to watch this film. I wonder if the good reviews I seen for this film were legit.

Nothing about LAST STARSHIP is good, or makes sense. The acting is lazy. The script is terrible. The cinematography is horrendous and the movie’s look and effects are poor for early 1990’s low budget crap.

All I can figure out is that this is supposed to be a post-apocalypse story with someone fighting someone while waiting for a legendary Last Starship to return which carries the Republic of Eos.

I watched (survived) the first twenty minutes of this before FF through the rest. I stop at a few points, but nothing seemed to get better, only worse. This Last Starship mentioned throughout the movie, and in the Title, never shows up!

Skip, unless you want to torture yourself. There’s not anything to even make fun of.

Sad.

MARDOCK SCRAMBLE TRILOGY

Okay, my thoughts here are probably going to piss anime fans off. I had heard and read great things about Mardock Scramble (as with most Anime). I really don’t know if it lives up to the hype and good rep.

Everything I had read was sort of misleading, including the official write-up and the back matter on the DVD set. I sat down to watch a thrilling serial killer murder mystery – there was nothing to lead me to believe there would be a talking military experiment mouse, a fantastical plot and idiotic characters.

The animation looks beautiful and is well made and gritty, but it doesn’t carry these movies. I only made it about 20 minutes into the first film – when a group of mercenaries are brought in, the script doesn’t make it clear who or what they are.

This is where I tuned out – these characters killed the first movie for me. They acted in a manner I found disturbed (overly sexually and unneeded) and didn’t add anything. I also found it quite stupid and stereotypical.

Unfortunately, Mardock Scramble is pushed as ground breaking, but in the long run, what I did watch, just furthers the typical Anime clichés.

 - Ace Masters