Watch out! For January 5th. That is when What I Watch I Review will return.

Watch out! For January 5th. That is when What I Watch I Review will return.

Yes, this is the time for the Holiday Hiatus – of course with the random schedule for reviews, I’m sure many believed this was already on Hiatus!

As with all my blogs, this got behind again. If I had been ahead of the game as planned: No Hiatus.

But, this year, it was for good reasons. Next year, more watching and MORE Reviewing!!

Ace.

What I Watch I Review: DRONE WARS

Drone Wars

Directed By Jack Perez

Starring Corin Nemec, Nathin Butler, Verona Blue, Whitney Moore

In Drone Wars, Corin Nemec (yes, Parker Lewis) plays a good man who goes out of his way to help others, putting himself in harm’s way, in humanity’s darkest hour.

Mysterious Drones of unknown origin have all but destroyed the Earth and Elias (Nemec) has been chosen by a mysterious group (The Hornets, aka Bugs) to receive advanced weapons that can fight the Drones. This is complicated by a rouge group lead by a man name Rhys, who believes he is better suited to lead the fight against the Drones then the current leadership in L.A.

Drone Wars is one of those odd films that isn’t bad, but isn’t good. It falls somewhere in the painfully average category. A film that is competently made, but just doesn’t quite get there. It’s maddening, because Drone Wars could have been a much better film.

It falls prey to the same three problems many indie films do – especially lower budget horror and sci-fi films. Poor script, effects and acting. Three things ANY film needs to really succeed.

The script is about half-way to where it should be. It’s another film that feels like it was lensed off of a pitch sheet rather than an actual fleshed out item usually called a screenplay. The plot is there, but often in the background and forgotten while other things happen. What story there is seems to peter away after the first thirty minutes, and turns into an hour of filler.

What does happen it often so illogical it destroys any suspension of belief and causes the viewer to ask: Really?

When it comes to the acting, you really need to know only two things: Corin Nemec and Verona Blue.

Corin Nemec is an actually good actor, and does his best here. He actually delivers the type of performance a good version of this film would need to get viewers engaged.

Verona Blue may be my favorite new actress, and is easily the best special effect in this film. She gives a performance that is far better than the actual film.




Nathin Butler as Rhys get a special mention here, if for nothing else than chewing the scenery in every scene he has.

The production values are good, but held back by a flat look to the image and special effects that seem lifted out of the 1980’s. Sometimes the Drones look really good, especially the big ‘mother’ Drones. It’s the other times that are more dangerous than the Drones themselves.

Many times when the Drones move and change course as they fly, they seem to change shape, go fuzzy and even expand and contract. Weird. Often, the Drones move so fast you barely see anything but a grey or silver blur on screen.

One almost gets the feeling they are moving this fast so the viewer won’t realize how bad the effect actual is.

Maybe the movie should have moved just as fast.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Drone Wars is worth watching at least once. But ultimately it is a disappointing film that could, and should have, been much better.

RATING: 5

WHAT I WATCH I REVIEW: RESIDENT EVIL Film Series

RESIDENT EVIL

Film Series

Starring Milla Jovovich

Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (Resident Evil, Afterlife, Retribution, The Final Chapter); Alexander Witt (Apocalypse); Russell Mulcahy (Extinction)

Recently I have watched all six Resident Evil movies over the course of one week. What exactly does that mean? Well, to begin with: Nothing. It means nothing.





First off the Resident Evil films have nothing at all to do with the Resident Evil video games series. (See, nothing.)

Secondly they barely have anything to do with being actual films. (Again, nothing)

They are very threatening films though. Let me explain:

They Threaten to actually tell stories and have a plot – but never follow through. There is nary a plot to be found in any of the films – or anything resembling something as silly as a story. In fact, you can fast forward through all the films and never miss any story points.

They Threaten to have any real action or adventure. Well, here they almost follow through – there is some action, but little actual adventure. Most of the action so is overboard and cartoonish that it borders on lame.

They Threaten to have anything resembling actual three-dimensional characters people can relate to. Are there any characters in these films? Hell, I’d settle for stock characters. Even Alice has very little characterization or personality. As for character depth? Zilch. The characters are nothing more than filler for the (almost) pretty backgrounds.

They Threaten to have pretty backgrounds. And they fail miserable. How can a major, theatrical release film franchise in this modern era with a mid-level budget have such terrible special effects, and shoddy camera work? Hell if I now. Ask Paul W.S. Anderson.

Most of all they Threaten to be entertaining. NOT!!

Above everything else these film are a giant tease. What else can you call 9 hours of Milla Jovovich running, jumping and dancing around half-naked or in skin tight outfits? Seriously, it’s like a 9 hour lap dance without a payoff. (Yes, I went there.)

The Resident Evil film series is easily the worst theatrical released film series in history. Period. Loud, nosy, lame, boring, poorly acted, poorly written, poorly made and piss-poorly directed. I would write ‘poor effects’ but that would be a compliment.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Let THE ASYLUM take over the reboot. At least that would be entertaining.

RATING: F@%& NO.

Alien Covenant

Hello everyone! It’s been a few month’s since I have written any movie reviews. For some good and bad reasons. Mostly because I have been really busy and most of what I have watched didn’t warrant writing anything about.

Not that the following movie I review here is really worth writing about, but I figured I have strong enough feelings about this picture that it made a good piece to return to What I Watch I Review with.

So read on to see what I think of

Directed By Ridley Scott

Written By Jon Logan and Dante Harper

Starring Michael Fassbender
                Katherine Waterson
                Billy Crudup
                Danny McBride
                Demain Bichir
                Carmen Ejogo


Umm, can we please get an actual Alien film next time around? If there is a next time.

At least Prometheus left off ‘Alien’ letting you know it was not going to be in the same vein as the original four films. Alien Covenant should have followed in the same vein and just called itself ‘Covenant.’

Not that leaving Alien off would have made the film any better.

Let me get this out of the way first. This is a well-made film in terms of production values – even if a few scenes of the ‘Aliens’ hatching look terrible. It is directed competently but not in a stellar fashion by Ridley Scott, and has a passable script.

By now, you have probably figured out this is not going to be a glowing review. You’re right. True. I’ve already written the most positive things I can about the film.

I have seen and read positive reviews – heard this called Ridley’s return to form. I’ve seen positive fan reaction.

To all this I ask: What the Hell film did you see?

Alien Covenant is a long, boring, stale film. The sad fact is it actually does go somewhere and does answer many questions. Problem is where it goes is in the wrong direction and the answers are utterly disappointing.

I want to praise Michael Fassbender’s dual performance, but I can’t. The reason being is that his characters, and his characters’ ties to the Xenomorph Origin presented in the film are what disappointed and enraged me about this film.

I don’t understand why we need an origin for the Xenomorph, especially the one we are being presented. One that threatens to show that the Alien, isn’t alien.

After two long, boring hours and reveals that threaten not just to deconstruct the Alien Universe, but destroy it, Covenant ends with a punch-to-the-gut cliff hanger. A true “Oh No,” moment that everyone had to see coming.

If this had been a better film, the cliff hanger would have worked. It should have been an “Oh NO” NOT THAT moment, getting people excited for the next film.

Instead all this really inspired was: “Oh No!” not another film!

FINAL THOUGHTS

Long, boring, disappointing. If we are to get an origin, this shouldn’t be it. Alien Covenant is clichéd and covering ground many Alien knock-offs have covered for years. The direction this is going in does more to ruin the franchise and begs the question WHY?

If this was a wholly new creative endeavor with no one involved from the original films, maybe it wouldn’t be so disappointing. But it isn’t. This is Ridley Scott, director and one of Alien’s original creators.

RATING:
Disappointing. Alien fans avoid.

THE EAGLE

The other night I sat down after a long and fruitless day to watch a film a friend lent me: The Eagle, one of the most celebrated films of Rudolph Valentino’s career. If you don’t know Valentino do some research or check your film fandom at the door.

More of a Star than an actor Valentino become the world’s first true film Idol during the silent era, a sensation at the Box Office and the original ‘Latin Lover’ to women the world over.

Directed by Clarence Brown

Screenplay by Hans Kraly and George Marion, Jr; from the novel Dubrovsky by Alexander Pushkin

Starring: Rudolph Valentino; Vilma Banky; Louise Dresser; James A. Marcus

The Eagle (1922), one of his biggest sensations, saw Valentino as Lieutenant Dubrovsky, a Russian soldier under the command of Catherine II (aka Catherine the Great).
Dubrovsky quickly gains the favor of the Czarina – who wishes to show him her affections and help his career, asking him “Do you desire to be a General?” – for inexplicable reasons he rejects her attentions. In spite, she signs his Death Warrant.


Returning home Dubrovsky finds a dying father, and learns that his family fortune and lands were stolen by a man named Kyrilla. Dubrovsky swears vengeance – and along with men of the local populace – becomes a masked bandit calling himself The Black Eagle.

The film is average at best, and anyone expecting a Douglas Fairbanks like epic swashbuckler will be sorely disappointed.

The Black Eagle is all over the place. It has no real direction and never real evokes any sort of emotion or sense of urgency that it needs.

The acting is standard for the period, slightly theatrical and overdone. Vilma Banky (Catherine II) delivers the best performance of the film, while Valentino simply gives what would become his trademark style – flash over substance to showcase a larger than life presence and a penchant for winning the heart of the ladies.

Surprisingly, for an early era silent film, The Eagle is highly familiar and derivative. It is based upon the novel Dubrovsky by Alexander Pushkin, but has little to do with it. No masked bandit story appears in the novel. In fact The Eagle has more in common with Zorro and Robin Hood, then it does a period novel.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
An average film at best, and nothing more than a Star Vehicle for Valentino.

RATING: 5

LOGAN

Anyone who reads any of my blogs should realize I am a massive comic book fan and reader. So, no surprise I saw Logan on opening day. (I had a free pass anyway) While I have never been a huge X-Men guy, I know all about them as Make Mine Marvel.

From the moment I saw the first Logan trailer I had a special feeling about this film. The trailer promised a more down to earth, gritty film with some ‘Southern Lit’ feel to it.

Logan delivered just that.

Logan delivers the Wolverine film comic book fans have been waiting for since 1999 and X-Men. Logan delivers the best of all the X-men films. Leave it to the last days of Wolverine, I mean Logan, to be his best.

This is not so much an X-men, or a Wolverine film, as it is Old Man Logan.

And, without spoilers for those who haven’t seen it, yes almost all the rumors that swirled about Logan are true.

Logan takes place sometime in the future after Mutants have been effectively wiped out. Only Logan, Xavier and Caliban are known to exist. And Caliban because he once help hunt down his fellow mutants, as a sort of penance he now helps Logan protect Xavier.

Then comes Laura – X-23 – and all Hell breaks loose like never before in any X-men film.

Make no mistake, this is the most violent X-Men film, period. Double period.

Down to Earth, Gritty, Violent Filled, we finally see the real Wolverine in action.

Beyond the action, this film delivers an emotion wallop that makes all the violence seem tame. As someone noted when leaving the theater “Greatest depressing movie ever.” The guy was right.

There was little to nothing I found lacking in Logan. This was a finely tuned and crafted film. Production quality was top notch, effects were dead on, and then there is the script and acting.

The script is stellar. It is laired and has a literature quality to it. It is at the same time about nothing, and everything.

Logan has become nothing, a shell of himself. His only goal is the protection of Xavier.

By the end of the film, it becomes about everything. Everything Logan was and could be.

What really make this film rise above is the performances. Patrick Stewart is awesome as a dementia, perhaps Alzheimer’s touched Charles Xavier. Hugh Jackman delivers his tour-de-force performance. If this is his last time clawed, it is a time no one will ever forget.

Then there is Dafne Keene, Laura/X-23. How the hell did she hold her own with Stewart and Jackman?

Logan is what we have been waiting for.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Here it is Ladies and Gentlemen, the closest thing we have yet to a Super-Hero art film.

RATING: 8.75

FOIRBIDDEN EMPIRE

Directed by Oleg Stepchenko

Screenplay by Aleksandra Karpov, Oleg Stepchenko

Based on Viy by Nikolai Gogol

Starring Jason Flemying

Aleksey Chadov

Valery Zolotukin

Anna Churina

Charles Dance

Forbidden Empire is a Russian and Ukraine fantasy film co-production, starring English actor Jason Flemying as Jonathan Green, a cartographer traveling from Western Europe to the East creating a new type of map, and longing to marry his love back home.

While travelling throughout Transylvania Green finds himself caught in a deep, dark and cursed village where evil infests.

The truest evil that Jason Flemying’s character faces in Forbidden Empire is the film itself. A stellar work of Russian cinema it isn’t. The film is bogged down with a lack of focus, no direction, uneven acting and a lackluster script.

While Flemying may never be considered a great actor, he does bring energy to most roles. That energy does nothing to help in this film, as it is counteracted by his character being a buffoon.

For a film that is supposed to be about a cursed village, overwhelming evil and horror it surprisingly lacks in any of those elements. If anything it is more goofy and campy.

The production values don’t help. While the cinematography is good, and color pops, poor CGI kills the mood of the film. What creatures and demons there are look terrible. I can’t imagine this being a 3D film of any good quality.

Yes, this film was released in Russia and Europe as a 3D production.

Now it is time for full disclosure: I tried. I really tried, but I couldn’t quite finish this film. I made it twenty-minutes in, then fast forwarded through the rest.

This film is based on a story called VIY, but it does nothing to make one what to seek out the source material.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
It should be FORIDDEN to see this film.

RATING: UNFINISHED

The Amazing Transparent Man

Directed by Edgar G. Ulmer

Written by Jack Lewis

Starring: Douglas Kennedy
James Griffith
Ivan Triesault
Margurite Chapman

A former US Army Major arranges the prison break of a notorious safecracker. His need of the safecracker? He is to steal nuclear materials the Major needs, while invisible. The major has forced a scientist to build an invisibility machine and the materials are needed for it.

The Major’s need for an invisibility machine? To conqueror the world with invisible soldiers.

If that brief write-up of the movie seems off and non-seneschal to you, it should. If it doesn’t tell you enough about the film, your right.

Problem is, it makes more sense than the movie does.

The Amazing Transparent man is NOT a gem of ‘60’s sci-fi b-movies. In fact it is an argument against them.

With poor production values, a shoddy script, brilliant overacting and less than an hour running time, this barely qualifies as a film. A least a feature film.

The film left me with some serious question:

Who hires a crook and expects them to do as told?

How does someone control an army of soldiers he can’t see?

Did the producers use the invisibility machine to turn part of the script invisible? You know, the parts with the plot and story?



FINAL THOUGHTS:
The Amazing Transparent Movie!

RATING: 4

The Neanderthal Man

Directed by Ewald Andre Dupont
Written by Aubrey Wisberg
Jack Pollexfen

Starring Robert Shane
Joyce Terry
Richard Crane
Doris Merrick

A hunter claims to have seen a creature that resembles a Saber tooth tiger. The local Game Warden and a scientist investigate only to learn that the Saber Tooth tiger is real and that a local scientist has developed a formula that causes animals and humans to devolve, and turns himself into The Neanderthal Man!





If this movie had been made in 1963 (instead of 1953), I would say it was Way Out, Man. And that would be the best thing I could say.

‘Bummer,’ would be something else.

This is not a film that really goes anywhere. It is basically a creature feature that takes too long to show us the creature, and barely ranks as a feature. The running time is an hour and ten minutes.

The acting, scripting, directing and production values all have something in coming with the Neanderthal Man character . . . they devolved into something primitive. Well, honestly, they may have started out primitive and devolved from there.

Somehow I sat through this entire picture . . .

FINAL THOUGHTS
Not worth watching.

RATING: 2

The Brain That Wouldn't Die

Directed, Screenplay by Joseph Green

Original Story by: Rex Carlton and Joseph Green

Starring: Herb Evers
          Virginia Leith
        Leslie Daniels

‘Let me die . . . Let me Die,’ a female voice begs before the opening credits even roll on this claimed-to-be sci-fi classic.

A surgeon tires of losing patients by doing everything ‘in the books.’ He wants to do more, experimenting with immoral, unethical and thought-to-be-impossible procedures and transplants.

When his girlfriend is fatally injured in a car accident, he is able to save her decapitated head and bring her brain back to the living. Keeping her brain alive he searches for a suitable body to transplant her head onto. Not only to save his girlfriend, but to prove his ideas right.

A lot of people have great things to say about this film, some of them may be right.

For a low budget 1962 affair, the production values are very good. It is a very well made and directed film. The script is more inventive then it is good, somewhat lacking at times in depth and characterization.

The script feels more like a starting point, then a finished piece. It doesn’t really serve Evers and Leith that well. The story feels more like a concept then a fleshed out completed piece. The characterization isn’t as deep or complex enough for Evers as it should be, with his character being more of a stock ‘Mad Scientist.’ Other characters are more one-dimensional, mostly throw-away and barely in the film.

It is not that the script is bad, just average and needed some work.

The highlight of this film for me is Virginia Leith’s performance. For the majority of the film we only see her head on a table, after all she was killed early on. Leith had no use of her body, drastically limited mobility, and could only uses her facial expressions for her performance.

With these limitations put on her she does a very fine job of portraying a character who at first begs for death and then descends into madness and lust for vengeance and develops mental powers.

The biggest drawback with the film is its similarities to The Brain, released around the same time, and Donovan’s Brain, released a few years earlier and based upon the Clifford Sidomak Novel.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Is this a sci-fi classic? Not really. In the end it is an underwhelmingly average movie that doesn’t quite get to the level it should have.

RATING: 5.5