HELLRAISER

The First time I watched HellRaiser was 1994/95. I watched it for three reasons.

• I had always heard how awesome of a movie it was.
• I was, and am, a big Andrew Robinson fan due to his work as Garrick on Star Trek Deep Space Nine.
• I wanted to see it.

I remember not liking the movie. I had not watched it since, nor seen any of the sequels. Over this past Halloween I decided to give HellRaiser a second chance, in fact I planned on watching all the movies over a few days.

I have written this before, and am sure I will again: BAD MOVE. BIG MISTAKE.

A lot of people are not going to like this!

I remembered very quickly why I didn’t like the film the first time. Not just didn’t like, hated. In fact, I didn’t then, and still don’t today, understand why it I held up in such high esteem.

Hellraiser is just not very good. It is a very amateurish looking film. It has poor acting, bad pacing and non-existence characterization. The script is very lacking and Clive Barker’s direction is nowhere to be found.

Yes, there is some decent effects and nice gore value (for the ‘80’s), but those do not a film make. Not even a horror film.

I know the argument that this is existential horror. Nope. Doesn’t fly. Surreal, maybe. Existential. No.

To be blunt, HellRiaser is a piss poor, amateurish, badly made film.

• Bad Acting
• Bad Characterization
• Bad Directing
• Bad Filming
• Bad Movie
• Unwatchable

FINAL THOUGHTS:
HellRaiser puts the ‘Horr’ in Horrible.

RATING: HELL

THE KEEP

Is the Keep an actual movie? I’m serious on this question. From what I understand the movie was never actually finished, at least not to director’s Michael Mann’s satisfaction. There are at least three different versions out there of varying length and different scenes.

I have only recently watched the Keep, in what I found out was the studio cut 96-minute version . . . something which is almost unreviewable.

Because of the troubled history of this film, multiple reshoots, FX Supervisor dying during production and talk of Michael Mann constantly changing his mind, it is hard to really review this film with taking them into consideration.

I will try though.

The 96-minute cut of the film is not very good. This cut seems unfinished and as if half the movie is missing, and indeed that might be true. Mann’s original cut was reportedly 210 minutes long – with another cut being 120 minutes.

This 96-minute cut was apparently done by the studio without Mann’s involvement, so the poor editing and presentation can’t be solely credited to Mann. However, what is in the scenes can be.

The 96 minute cut is a glimpse of what could have been, and what is. The ‘what is’ part tells us certain things: such as poor editing, poor direction, lackluster acting and mediocre script. It is more of a template for a longer film, then a film itself.

Indeed, the 96 minute cut feels like outtakes cobbled together to make a film.

There could be a good film in here somewhere. There might actually be a film in here somewhere. I am interested in one day seeing the longer cuts, but am not sure if that is a good idea.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Only if you have nothing better to do.

RATING: BARELY A FILM

DOCTOR STRANGE

No, this is not my thoughts on Dr. Strange, the 1978 TV film starring Peter Hooten. Which was released last week on DVD. I actually did get to the theater to see Doctor Strange.

Before I go too far, I have to mention that I loved this film.

The Direction was strong. The acting superb and dead on, and the casting near perfect.

This may well be the most beautiful special effects, co-driven film ever made.

I write co-driven, because this is more than VFX. Even if one can get lost in the visuals quiet easily and remain happy. It would be quiet easy to get lost in that candy, but that is only the surface. One needs to scratch to get deeper.

If one can look past the VFX, action, the mysticism and the linear narrative, one would discover that what this actually is, is a concept piece and character study.

THE STORY
Doctor Stephen Strange, a Neurosurgeon, loses the use of his hands in a car accident. Traveling to the Far East to find a way to heal his hands, he begins training in the mystic arts. He excels and become embroiled in a battle with a renegade sorcerer who want to put the Earth in the hands of the Demon Dormammu from the dark dimension.

THE CONCEPT
All the mysticism. Everything taught by The Ancient One, and learned by Strange. That is the concept of the film. Not to gain power, but to expand one’s mind. To be open to all things. To the multiverse, to new ways of thinking.

‘In order to conquer something, you must surrender to it.’ This is an age old philosophy the Ancient One tries to get Strange to understand. ‘It is not about YOU,’ Is another way to phrase it.

THE CHARACTER STUDY
The main crux of Doctor Strange is about Stephen Strange himself. This is a character study of his journey. But what journey? In this story, he under takes three journeys: to heal his hands, to become the Sorcerer Supreme and to change himself – to redeem himself.

Yes, ultimately this is a story of one man finding redemption when he was unaware he needed it. His entire life, it was about him. He did good things, but it is evident that he wasn’t a good man. His arrogance, his success, his purpose.

HIS purpose, when he thought he lost that, it prompted his journey.

He started his journey to heel his hands, only to learn that it was his soul that needed healing.

Once he surrendered to the idea that it isn’t about him, he found his redemption. He moved on from the man he once was, to the man the World needed him to be: The Sorcerer Supreme.

It was a pleasure to share this journey.

FINAL THOUGHT:
Great film and a worthy addition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

RATING: 8

The Liberator - Short Film

The Liberator

Directed by Aaron Pope

Starring Lou Ferrigno, Peta Wilson and Michael Dorn, with Ed Asner

This is a nice little short view that can be viewed on Amazon Instant Video (Prime), which is where I watched it.

In this short Lou Ferrigno plays a disgraced ‘super hero’ The Liberator trying to repair his relationship with his daughter and reclaim his reputation. He plans to release the truth about a ten-year old incident that lead to the death of a team mate and him being labeled a traitor.

Only the military and our government, plan to make sure that truth never sees sunlight.

This is actually a very good short film. It is well made, written, the pacing is good and there are very nice action scenes.

Aaron Pope did a very good job in making this short.

The true gem of this piece is Lou Ferrigno. If nothing else, watch this for Ferrigno’s performance. In this short Ferrigno gives the best performance of his career, and proves that he has some chops.

The only drawback with ‘The Liberator’ is that it ends on a cliff hanger. I don’t know if a sequel or more episodes were made, and a search shows nothing. Which is really too bad, as I would love to see where this would have went.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Gritty, epic, well made.

RATING: 7.5

Shadow Dancer

I gather this was a critically acclaimed film, but I can’t fathom why. The only reason I watched it all the way through is because I watched it with my beloved mom – who is from Ireland.

Shadow Dancer stars Andrea Riseborough as an IRA member who is captured and offered a deal by an MI5 operative (Clive Owen): Inform on the IRA, or go to jail. She chooses to inform because of her son, so she can be there for him.

That is about all you might get from this film, if you even get that.

Shadow Dancer is best described as a muddled mess, lacking any real plot, story or a competent script. At some point towards the end there seems to be a love story subplot, but it is non-existent for the entire film.

Nothing in this film ever really happens, despite the fact that it wants you to think something has happened.

This is a long, boring, dry film with nothing to it. There is no life, no feeling, no sense of anything. This is made worse by the performances. If this film had been populated with corpses you would have had a more lively and compelling cast.

Andrea Riseborough walks around like a blank, lifeless zombie. And hers is the best performance in the film.

FINAL THOUGHT:
Shadow Dancer is a Shadow of a film.

RATING: 4

EXPLORERS

Directed by Joe Dante

Starring Ethan Hawke, River Phoenix

I found a used DVD copy of Joe Dante’s EXPLORERS (starring very young Ethan Hawke and River Phoenix) at a Goodwill the other day and snatched it up. I watched it last night for the first time since maybe the ‘80’s. I didn’t remember much of the film or if I liked it.

That was until I start to watch the film and memories of it flooded back. BIG MISTAKE!




The whole point of the film was to make Goonies in space. The problem is, Explorers lacks any sense of fun, or adventure, takes too long to get where it is going, no actual exploring is ever done and the payoff it totally bogus!

In the film Ben (Ethan Hawke) has a dream of a circuit board. Somehow his nerdy ‘scientist’ best friend uses his (‘80’s) computer to turn the dream into reality, which results in an airtight sphere of energy that can help then fly.

Along with their new friend they build a junk spaceship. The sphere allows them to fly and it keeps them alive. The sphere comes in very handy when there ship is taken over and flown into space and docked with a spaceship.




There they meet two aliens, whom Ben believes will reveal the secrets of the universe to a bunch of young school kids. The sad fact is, the only thing the aliens reveal is knowledge of Earth TV and they go through a series of stupid skits acting like TV Characters.

Eventually it is revealed that these alien are just kids, who stole their father’s spaceship.

The only real saving grace of this film is the special effects, which were very good for their time and the budget.

Joe Dante’s direction is the only thing that stops this film from being downright crap. But even he couldn’t save Explorers.

At best, it is an average film that had potential, but never took off.

RATING: 5

Neon Maniacs

Neon Maniacs

Okay, seriously: Neon Maniacs . . . Without a doubt this is some serious ‘80’s horror/gore/supernatural goodness. That may be the nicest thing I can say about the film. Seriously, it is a compliment.

Seriously though, what the Hell is Neon Maniacs? For that matter what is A Neon Maniac? And why the hell are they call Neon? These are serious questions people, and they never get answered. Not that it really makes a difference to the story, plot or characters.

Oh wait, that’s right – who needs a silly story, plot or well-rounded characters? This is ‘80’s horror!



Apparently Neon Maniacs are the Legion of the Damned, unleashed from under San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge to do battle with local teenagers, only to be defeated. Just don’t expect the movie to tell you that part.

For the Gore Miesters out there, there is a lot of gore and violence and gruesome kills. These are the high points of the film.

Production value for Neon Maniacs is typical for the time period and genre, low budget, average, but gets the job down. Acting is typical for the time period and genre, non-existence.

Neon Maniacs is best suited to the Gore Crowd and the So-Bad-It’s-Good niche. Even hardcore genre fans may find the movie lacking and a little to typical. Overall it’s an average film at best.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Why weren’t the God Damn maniacs Neon? Seriously, I wanted NEON!

RATING: 5

The Conjuring

Directed by James Wan

Starring Patrick Wilson, Vera Famiga

Only recently have I watched The Conjuring. I didn’t see it in theaters and it was a middle-of-the-list movie on my see list. It should have been higher.

Patrick Wilson and Vera Famiga star as The Warrens, a legendary husband and wife team of paranormal investigators. Whether they were legit or not, or any of the case they investigated were real hauntings, bare no merit here.

The movie presents them as being legit, and their cases as well. After all, it is based on one of their actual cases.

Let me say this about the movie:

This is one of the best horror films I have seen in a long time. I loved The Conjuring.

The story and script were very strong. Production values were high and the acting excellent.

This movie knows not just how to scare you, but how to chill one to their bones. It takes the time to build up the nightmare slowly, all the while playing games with your head that there might not be a nightmare. There is no gore or shock value. Instead of those they use light and dark, to create an atmosphere and mood that instills dread. They also do something else.

They present the film as a drama. The characters are fleshed out and developed. There is character conflict as well as story conflict. The Warrens are both three-dimensional characters and go through their own journeys.

The Plot and story are also developed as the movie unfolds. Scares and reveals are placed at just the right moments.

The Conjuring has more in common with Val Lawton’s Cat People, then it does a modern day slasher/horror flick. It is better for it.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Vera Famiga is awesome. Awesome.

The Conjuring is excellent too. It pulls off a rare feat of working as a horror and drama film.

RATING: 7.5

Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy

Directed by Roger Vadim

Starring Jane Fonda, John Phillip Law

Recently I read the collection of the original Barbarella comics. They weren't very good. I then decided to watch the movie for the first time in years.

This is one time the movie is better than the source material. While the basic story of the film does originate with the comics, there are a number of significant changes.

In the movie there are no weapons, universal peace and violence is abhorrent.

In the comics, war abounds, weapons are plentiful, and Barbarella herself is violent.

In the movie physical sex is archaic. In the comic, Barbarella is a pure slut.

Truth is the movie is better then the comic, and much better than many claim.

Barbarella (Jane Fonda) is sent on a mission by the president of Earth to find a rouge scientist, Duran Duran, who has invented a new weapon.

Crash landing on her target planet, Barbarella ends up in a series of events that test her will and expand her sexuality (to put it politely).

Along the way she meets, falls in love with – and makes love to – a Blind Angel (who in truth is the last of his Alien Race), played by John Phillip Law.

Eventually she finds Duran Duran, only to be subject to an outrageous machine which is supposed to ‘stimulate’ her to death. Only Barbarella is too much for the machine, and causes it to overload. Thus she wins the day! Goodness reigns sex er . . . supreme!

Roger Vadim forgoes trying to make a serious moment out of this film. Instead he focused on the silly, fun factor and doing something modern – 'making a comic book movie.'

The story is decent, acting good and direction strong. But the true star of this show is the production values and effects.

This film is absolutely beautiful. Keep in mind this film was made in 1968 and has many sixties styles, including Barbarella’s spaceship filled with shag carpeting.

Sixties styles aside, the effect for this film are awesome and stunning. The filming is outstanding and the colors are superb. There are sequences in this film that have never been done again.

This film truly looks like the printed comic book page – and is richer for it.





FINAL THOUGHTS:

Overall Barbarella is a kitschy, sexy, campy, psychedelic trip. Thing is, it is far more compelling and fun film that many people give it credit for.

RATING: 6.5